April 1, 2004 -- Leading industry forecaster I. Goode Plotz has stated that the global market for depersonalization software, equipment, and supplies will be $4 billion in 2009. Mr. Plotz said in a client conference call reported by a listener on promise of anonymity said, "No one knows about this market yet, but we're planning to create a public relations barrage that will shame vendors and printers into buying products and increasing their expectations to the point of fever."
The idea of depersonalization software is "rebound marketing," where you move in the exact opposite direction of the marketplace. "Some companies have excelled at this for years. People think these companies are out of touch, but they're really onto something, and they prepare themselves for the pendulum to swing the other way." Some companies will try to duck an oncoming pendulum, but these companies are actually getting ready to catch it. In this case, the idea is that consumers will find receiving mail addressed to "occupant," "resident," or "boxholder" a refreshing change for people concerned that retailers and others know too much about them.
"Concerns about privacy in our society have reached a point where there are amazing untapped opportunities in the marketplace, just like the Plotz study says" said U.R. Wright, CEO of DeTract Software. "Our product automatically strips out the name of the recipient of mail and replaces it with random salutations, like 'occupant' and others. Some of our larger clients prefer our program's proprietary Dyslexicon feature, which misspells recipient's names on purpose, making them think we know nothing about them."
Rumors are that the Dyslexicon feature will be CIP5 and JDF compatible, but that could not be confirmed at presstime. Special Note: All these stories are presented in the true spirit of April Fool's Day. None of these stories are true, nor are they intended to reflect the strategy and intent of any real person or company. Our purpose with the April Fool's Edition is to elicit a smile, and we hope you will enjoy our spoof! We are an Equal Opportunity Offender: Our contributors name many industry companies in their stories, none of which should be taken seriously. Please offer your feedback.
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