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| April Fool's Day Special Edition |
• See the REAL News for Today Burger King Boldly Moves to Trump McDonald’s Installs April 1, 2004 -- In a competitive move responding to early press leaks about Oakbrook, IL-based McDonalds in-store installation of Xerox iGen3 digital color printers, Miami, FL-based Burger King has announced the purchase of HP/Indigo machines for all of its popular hamburger chains. Unlike McDonald's, which is locating the machines in the customer seating area where they can be used by salespeople, designers, and business executives during pit-stops, BK has opted to place the packaging-optimized print devices — called BurgerStreams — behind the order counter where they will be used to print food wraps on-demand. Unconfirmed sources suggest that the printers may be located next to the fry machine. "We think McDonald’s is making a serious miscalculation by trying to bring such a sophisticated piece of equipment into its dining areas," notes a BK executive, speaking on condition of anonymity. "We all know how fickle the American consumer is. Bacon is bad. Bacon is good. Eggs are bad. Eggs are good. It's an unpredictable market. Printing a business proposal during lunch might sound like a good idea today, but what happens when people start turning in those documents with grease stains? What we’ve done is take McDonald’s idea and use it smarter and more profitably." BK feels that the concept of printing food wraps on-demand at franchise locations is a natural outgrowth of the decentralization of marketing materials used by many major corporations. These corporations set up Web sites where independent retailers, distributors, agents, and the like can download pre-approved marketing materials and print them locally, either at their desktops or at local commercial print shops on-demand, as needed. "Burger King is bringing this innovative decentralized printing concept to the retail level," the executive continues. "While fast-food-based printing of corporate materials has a certain amount of uncertainty associated with it, we know that the FDA requires all fast food to be packaged before it’s served. By decentralizing the printing of food wraps to the retail level and eliminating our associated corporate costs, we have an unprecedented opportunity to provide new value to our shareholders, while allowing retailers to offer the freshest possible packaging as the food is served. It’s a win-win situation." To counter resistance from franchisees who might not want to ask their employees to learn how to print burger wraps and fry boxes, the executive notes that the corporation also expects them to benefit from the lack of packaging obsolescence, as well as the ability to print personalized packaging to individual customers who might want burgers wrapped in packaging created just for them. "The idea of handing someone ‘Bob’s Burger’ or ‘Frenchie’s Fries’ has tremendous possibilities for consumer appeal," he concludes. HP Indigo is reported to be working on some modifications to the prototype BurgerStreams based on early reports of grease fires in the paper trays and curling and jamming due to steam emissions from the burger frying stations. Special Note: All these stories are presented in the true spirit of April Fool's Day. None of these stories are true, nor are they intended to reflect the strategy and intent of any real person or company. Our purpose with the April Fool's Edition is to elicit a smile, and we hope you will enjoy our spoof! We are an Equal Opportunity Offender: Our contributors name many industry companies in their stories, none of which should be taken seriously. Please offer your feedback. • See the REAL News for Today |
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