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Wal-Mart to buy Offshore Assets from RR Donnelley & Quebecor
On March 30, 2005 Wal-Mart announced that it has purchased all offshore printing facilities of R.R. Donnelley and Sons and Quebecor World for an undisclosed price. The deal will provide Wal-Mart with significant print-based production to support their growing print needs worldwide. In the past few years Wal-Mart has also purchased a number of Asian, Australian and European print manufacturing facilities. With the Donnelley and Quebecor acquisitions, Wal-Mart is ranked among the Top Ten largest printers in the world. Industry observers believe that Wal-Mart is planning to enter the U.S. commercial printing market using their huge chain of retail stores as sales centers.
Ikon, Canon and Epson Merge – New company called ICE
Ikon, Canon and Epson have agreed to merge into one company, to be headquartered in Tokyo. The new company, called ICE, announced it would aggressively seek market dominance in the U.S and Europe but would locate all product manufacturing in Asia. Insiders have indicated that Xerox was at one time part of the merger discussions – the company was to have been called ICEX – but executive management differences caused Xerox to drop out of the merger talks. Meanwhile, serious merger discussions between Hewlett-Packard and Xerox have been reported.
Quad Develops CIM System
Quad/Graphics, through its Quad/Tech division, is working quietly but intensely on the development of a fully functional computer-integrated manufacturing (CIM) workflow system that can be operated almost entirely by computer. The current prototype of the system, which reportedly cost $10 million to build, was recently used to produce 15 catalog jobs ranging in quantity from 25,000 to 100,000, done over a seven-day period. Reports indicate that quality of products were exceptional, with exact counts, minimum waste and unbelievably low labor cost. The current prototype, called Quad Integrated Print System (QIPS) operates with just five skilled technicians instead of an estimated 55 employees normally required. As QIPS is de-bugged and start-up costs are reduced, Quad/Tech plans to set up QIPS factories around the world and may also sell the integrated systems to the industry.
HP Launches RFID toner-ink
Hewlett-Packard (HP) is entering the emerging and potentially huge radio frequency identification (RFID) market. It has developed and perfected (patent pending) a programmable “RFID toner-ink” for printing tags that are then programmed with a compatible, hand-held radio-frequency emitter (RFE). The tags are passive format and must measure at least 25 square mm to hold the data. Programming using the hand-held RFE is done by simply pointing the RFE laser beam light in the general area of the tag. Literally any product, even when enclosed in other packaging, can be programmed once it has a tag. The hand-held RFE can be used as a stand-alone unit or radio-linked to a computer. Tags can be un-programmed and re-programmed and can be tracked by numerous radio detection devices.
Printers to Benefit from New Universal Health and Wellness Act of 2005
At long last universal health care in America is a reality. Today President Bush will sign the Universal Health and Wellness Act of 2005 (UHWA) into law. Considered to be the most significant legislation in the past 50 years, the Act provides basic health care to all Americans regardless of age, gender, income, race or other factor. It immediately phases out all forms of medical insurance, which is expected to save billions of dollars, and requires doctors and hospitals to re-set all fees at “practical and realistic levels” under the auspices of a bi-partisan congressional panel of experts who will oversee implementation of the Act.
In addition, the UHWA caps medical malpractice settlements at $150,000 and adds a "three-strikes rule" that takes away a doctor's lifetime license to practice medicine when three malpractice cases have been found against him. Because UHWA covers all Americans, it means health insurance is no longer required by companies and corporations as a benefit to their employees – the Bush Administration expects these dollars to be re-invested in the company to stimulate economic growth. Funding for this landmark legislation comes from Iraqi oil profits specifically targeted to re-pay the U.S. for war costs, which have exceeded $300 billion to date.
Postal Service Goes Postal
Based on recommendation of the President’s Commission on Postal Reform and the United States Post Office Board of Governors, Congress has approved a 35 percent reduction in the cost of Periodical, Standard A and Standard B mailing rates effective July 1, 2005. The cost of first class mail will be increased by $0.06 per ounce to offset this reduction and the expected loss of first class volume that is likely to accompany it. In addition, the Board of Governors is proposing legislation that would require all U.S. corporations to sign an affidavit that declares the U.S. Postal Service as their "primary source of external paper communication" or be assessed an annual penalty.
2005 Package and Label Printing Act Signed Into Law
In a major development for the label and packaging industries, the 2005 Package and Label Printing Act (PLPA) has been passed and signed into law by President Bush. This legislation stipulates that labels and package printing for any product made and/or sold in the United States must be manufactured by companies located in the U.S. When the legislation goes in to effect on July 1, 2005 any product sold in the U.S. – regardless of origin – must have its label or package printed in the U.S. even if the product is manufactured offshore. This legislation is expected to bring billions of dollars of volume to label and package printers for work that was previously done offshore by non-American companies that imported their products into the U.S.
Quick News Updates and Comments:
A&E announced today that it will begin production on the story of Xerox Executive Frank Steenburgh, the father of the Docutech. Executives from A&E announced today that the series, a three part docudrama, will begin in the year 1400 when Mr. Steinbach, then a young naive student of the printing process, first fell in love with the printing press while working with Johannes Guttenberg.
Eastman Kodak has not acquired anyone in the last 24 hours.
The success of mobile music players has inspired Creo to produce the mobile iCTP; it makes plates for postage stamps. The VLF version does business cards.
Apple has decided to re-introduce Mac OS 1. Users miss that little icon of the bomb.
Cisco is now selling networks in Australia. You can buy a LAN down under.
The XPLOR organization has finished a study on transaction printing and found that bills travel faster than the speed of payment checks.
If inflation fell and Alan Greenspan was not there to hear it, would that be sound economic policy?
Eastman Kodak discovered that it has somehow acquired itself.
FedExKinkos is changing its business plan and will now ship Xerox DocuTechs instead of paper copies so customers can have true distributed printing.
In an unexpected development, Donald Trump fired himself on his NBC show, The Apprentice.
President Bush has named a Photoshop Czar to the cabinet. There are now about a trillion users but only three who actually know how to use the program.
EFI claims a patent on DNA. Sources close to the company report that staff scientists have discovered that DNA is nothing more than a personal RIP--it processes chromosomes and outputs people.
The Federal Trade Commission has a new Do Not Call, Do Not Fax, Do Not E-Mail, Do Not Visit, Just Go Away and Leave Me Alone list. So far, only the head of the FTC is on it.
Congress has enacted a new law making bad PDF files a felony. The FBI will now investigate font embedding.
The FCC is cracking down on profanity. Printers may have to refrain from using off-color paper.
Noted Futurist Dr. Clair Voyent said that in the future the printing industry will send a cyborg back in time to destroy the guy who created the Internet. However, the cyborg will run for elected office by demonstrating more personality than most politicians.
Galactic Paper has developed a new paper made from petrochemicals. On second thought, maybe trees aren’t such a bad idea.
Adobe is introducing a spell checker for skywriting. This will save tons of aerial white-out.
HP has a new wide format printer that can output a full-size map of the United States with a scale of 1 mile equals 1 mile. Folding it takes a while.
A Czech Republic press manufacturer has a new check press with integrated proofing. You can do a color check on a Czech check press. It is sold with an inline Finnish finisher.
Xerox has a new digital printer with no name. "All the good numbers were taken by Canon," said marketing head Dot Matrix, "and we ran out of prefixes for 'tech' and 'color.' The machine is called 'it.'"
RR Donnelly has acquired the U.S. Postal Service and will place all branch offices at the ends of its many binding lines. Customers may be asked to do some collating.
With rising postal costs, Time Magazine will use a new personalized aerial bombardment approach to deliver issues to subscribers. It gives a whole new meaning to "drop ship. "
Noted scientist Dr Basal Metabolism has discovered that PMS 342U ink may be a cure for the common cold.
InfoTrends/CAP Ventures is buying Gartner, IDC, IT Strategies and Lyra Research. They had to do something about all these other companies selling research to their customers.
The Graphic Arts Show Company has acquired drupa and plans to make drupa and PRINT annual events, alternating between Chicago and Dusseldorf. To facilitate travel to the events, GASC has also acquired United Airlines and will offer $99 fares to show attendees.
TrendWatch has released a new study entitled “Steroids and the Printing Industry.” Among the findings, 27% of delivery drivers for printing firms use steroids.
Special Note: All these stories are presented in the true spirit of April Fool's Day. None of these stories are true, nor are they intended to reflect the strategy and intent of any real person or company. Our purpose with the April Fool's Edition is to elicit a smile, and we hope you will enjoy our spoof! We are an Equal Opportunity Offender: Our contributors name many industry companies in their stories, none of which should be taken seriously. Please offer your feedback
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