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April Fool's Day Special Report:


Presstek’s new ProFire-GPS CTP System: Out-Of-This-World Technology

April 1, 2003 — Hot on the heels of Heidelberg’s Saphira Caleidoplate 46 announcement, Presstek has announced some ground-breaking new CTP technology of its own. The new system, called ProFire-GPS, is sure to rocket demand for their direct imaging systems across the planet. By now, you are aware of the pinpoint precision of Presstek’s ProFire direct imaging technology. Their newest ProFire-GPS system employs ground-breaking technology by combining the control of modern aircraft and shipboard navigation— Global Positioning System (GPS) — with the ProFire direct imager.

Presstek’s proprietary GPS decoding software, built into every ProFire-GPS system, permits laser guided plate imaging techniques to rise to new heights. Using the pinpoint accuracy afforded by earth circling satellites, Presstek’s new enhancement takes advantage of this widely used mapping technology to precisely guide the laser during the plate etching process. WhatTheyThink contacted Solar Litho— the ProFire-GPS Beta-zed site, located in the Delta Quadrant, for actual reactions to the new system. Solar’s general manager, Chuck Stargazer, had this to say. "Well, I for one, am amazed at the clarity and repeatability of Presstek’s new ProFire-GPS system. Previously we had a run-up of between 10 and 15 impressions. With ProFire-GPS, it’s spot-on with the first sheet!"

Not only does this provide savings in material and time, but benefits are also realized in terms of ink usage. According to Hudson Drive, Presstek’s CPC (Chief Plate Chef), an additional benefit of ProFire-GPS is its ink control. "Supported by actual test data, we verified an ink savings of over 60% on an average QMDI print job, compared to the non GPS system." The ink savings are credited to the guidance of the GPS signals which also drive the integrated ink control modules embedded in the new ProFire-GPS system. You can’t visually tell that only 40% of the normal ink lay-down was used. Drive says, "The pop and color fidelity we have come to expect from Presstek direct imaging is out-of-this-world, and is everything printers and their customers demand." This affords printers a greater cost savings and is environmentally friendly.

Expected to be shipping by Star Date 3045.2, ProFire-GPS will be retrofitted free of charge on all Presstek Dimension CTP systems of record.


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Special Note: All these stories are presented in the true spirit of April Fool's Day. None of these stories are true, nor are they intended to reflect the strategy and intent of any real person or company. Our purpose with the April Fool's Edition is to elicit a smile, and we hope you will enjoy our spoof! We are an Equal Opportunity Offender: Our contributors name many industry companies in their stories, none of which should be taken seriously. Please offer your feedback.


This was a collective effort by many of our contributors. We decided a universal byline was best since so many helped with each story. Thanks to Gail Nickel-Kailing, Molly Joss, Frank Romano, Cary Sherburne, CAP Ventures, Bill Farquharson, Noel Ward, John Dunn, Paul White, Dr. Joe Webb, Robert FitzPatrick, Steve Aranoff, Vince Marini, Jeremy Smith, John Zarwan


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